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12/31/2009

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"she found a man who cooks, cleans, and nurtures...So she's not angry with him"

Would you say the same of a woman? That is, would you say it's fortunate that a woman cooks, cleans and nurtures so her husband is not angry with her. I'm sure you know there are women who do none of those things. Should their husbands be angry with them?

"usefulness of being a househusband"

Do you also think housewives are "useful"?

"gender equality"

So you think a situation with a breadwinner and a househusband is an example of gender equality? So then we can assume you also believe a situation with a breadwinner and a housewife is an example of gender equality?


Thanks for your comment on my blog. You asked several questions, but
Ill reply generally. Very often, men who do most or all of the
housework--without explicitly agreeing to that--are rightfully angry and
resentful. Most people like to be met halfway by their partners.
Unfortunately, inAmerican culture, we still have a situation in which
women generally do more than their share, even when both are working
full-time.

Part of theproblem is sociocultural in origin. That
is,housework is experienced as distasteful, repetitive, unskilled work
that most of us would gladly pay someone as little as we could get away with to
do most of it for us. Until the invention of electrical appliances, middle
class people hadone or moreservants to help take care of these
unpleasant tasks. For example, my grandparents (born in the 1890s in the
south) had a live-in housekeeper and a washerwoman who came weekly and hand
washed and ironed their laundry.Their house was small and modest, and my
grandmothers job was to manage the household and their social life while my
grandfather worked as many as five jobs at a time to get them through the Great
Depression.

Once housework becamepartially automated by machines, women who had
previously been able to rely on the humansupports, were freed up to do
all of the housework themselves while their husbands worked in the same way they
always had. Of course, housewives were--and are--useful!

No matter how you look at it, housework has traditionally been relegated to
women. And so in the 1960s and 1970s when men began togrow their
hair long and rebel against traditional male roles, they also tried staying home
and doing womens work without complaint. This is where the notion of
gender equality comes from.

I hope this answers your questions, and thanks again for visiting the
blog.

Elizabeth J.
Buckley, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist
The Haile Psychiatry and
Psychotherapy Group
4965A SW 91st Terrace
Gainesville, FL 32608
(352)
337-0551
http://www.HailePsych.com
http://www.selfhelpbookblog.typepad.com

In a message dated 1/25/2010 4:51:10 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

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