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09/10/2010

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Have to completely with recommending Hendrix's work. As we write about in our newest post about coping with breakups, his books are probably the main ones we recommend on relationships.

Thanks, Breakup Advice. Although Hendryx et al are in the business of saving relationships, when they break up we make the most of the situation if we try actively to learn from them, and that's where the books are helpful.

Actually they do more than save relationships. They have books for singles and even books on parenting. They really cover the whole spectrum.

These and Maggie Scarf's books are my favorite books on the subject of relationships. They are neither simplistic nor couched in purely professional terms. I agree that Hendrix' advice does take motivation and followthrough, but the rewards, IMO, more than justify the effort.

@Breakup Advice: Yes, absolutely, there's a good collection of their books. But I think that, on the whole, their thrust is towards growth-in-relationship and depth psychology, whether you are talking about being single, a parent or other non-traditional role. This stands somewhat in contrast to the experts writing on compatibility issues (making a good choice of mate to start with), or navigating divorce philosophically, spiritually and behaviorally. Fisher, Kirshenbaum, and Ahrons are three examples of authors dealing with these issues whose books I like and have discussed here. Some Hendryx followers would say there is no such thing as a wrong choice in a mate, you are just meant to work out certain issues with that mate, whom you chose for unconscious, but meaningful reasons. But you could argue that some relationships are just too much work, and if someone gives up, you can't blame them, you just have to find the best way to help everyone move on. I don't have time to go into more this minute, but I think you'll agree it's an endlessly fascinating subject.

@elseejay: I love Maggie Scarf's books, too. Any favorites you'd like to see discussed here?

I'd love a discussion of Intimate Worlds. I found it to be both moving and informative.

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